I’ve noticed that a lot of people have nits to pick with the Return of the King, but in every such case that I’ve come across, the nit-picker still loves the movie. I watched RotK on opening night here in Longview, but since the theaters here generally suck, I had to wait until last Friday for the full experience at a large stadium-seat screen in Dallas. I’m with the crowd here; I have a few nits to pick at myself, but in the grand scheme of things they’re mostly minor details rather than ruinous flaws.
In no particular order:
1. After watching Fellowship last night just for the hell of it, I realized that in comparison to that cave troll, the trolls and even the elephantine mūmakil at the battle of the Pelennor Fields went down pretty easily. Maybe they just make better trolls in Moria than in Mordor.
2. Speaking of mūmakil, and this is not so much a nit as an observation, did they remind anyone else of Imperial Walkers?
3. What happened to the darkness over Gondor? All I saw were some dark clouds in an otherwise sunny sky.
4. Wilson noted that the light effects from Gandalf’s staff and Sauron’s Eye were a little sub-par. However, there’s a similar effect on the sunbeam that comes down on Balin’s tomb in Fellowship, and I was watching the projector in theater and it made a similar scattering effect on the way to the screen. I’m not inclined to gripe too much about the use of the effect, except that I think in Gandalf’s case, when he drove back the Nazgūl from Faramir’s surviving army, the light show could have been a bit more spectacular.
5. Gandalf didn’t get to participate in enough ass-kicking. Beating the crap out of Denethor with his stick doesn’t count. This is a guy who stood down a freaking Balrog, for crying out loud. He should be able to knock down common-or-garden orcs by sneezing. Instead, he spent most of his time riding up and down the seven levels of Minas Tirith looking worried, or philosophizing with Pippen about the great adventure that is Death.
Things that had better be on the extended version:
1. Houses of Healing. This scene will be like The Two Towers shot of Boromir and Faramir in Osgiliath; it alone will make the extended edition worth the money.
2. Gandalf vs. Witch King of Angmar.
“In rode the Lord of the Nazgūl. A great black shape against the fires beyond he loomed up, grown to a vast menace of despair. In rode the Lord of the Nazgūl, under the archway that no enemy ever yet had passed, and all fled before his face.
All save one. There waiting, silent and still in the space before the Gate, sat Gandalf upon Shadowfax: Shadowfax who alone among the free horses of the earth endured the terror, unmoving, steadfast as a graven image in Rath Dinen.
“You cannot enter here,” said Gandalf, and the huge shadow halted. “Go back to the abyss prepared for you! Go back! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your Master. Go!”
The Black Rider flung back his hood, and behold! he had a kingly crown; and yet upon no head visible was it set. The red fires shone between it and the mantled shoulders vast and dark. From a mouth unseen there came a deadly laughter.
“Old fool!” he said. “Old fool! This is my hour. Do you not know Death when you see it? Die now and curse in vain!” And with that he lifted high his sword and flames ran down the blade.
Gandalf did not move. And in that very moment, away behind in some courtyard of the City, a cock crowed. Shrill and clear he crowed, recking nothing of wizardry and war, welcoming only the morning that in the sky far above the shadows of death was coming with the dawn.
And as if in answer there came from far away another note. Horns, horns, horns. In dark Mindolluin’s sides they dimly echoed. Great horns of the North wildly blowing. Rohan had come at last.“
‘Nuff said.
3. Sam vs. the Watchers at the Tower of Cirith Ungol. Another opportunity for great cinematic imagery denied in the theatrical release.
Griping aside, the movie was indeed pretty damn good. Favourite moments:
1. Shelob’s Lair. The spider was everything I was afraid it would be, and the gasping in the theater from those who hadn’t read the book when Frodo got stung was an entertaining sideshow by itself.
2. The Paths of the Dead. “The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead, and the Dead hold it. The way is shut.” Brrrrrr.
3. Minas Tirith. Edoras was indeed a beautiful set (and building it was a technological and logistical marvel) but I think Minas Tirith was outstanding.
4. The eruption of Mt. Doom. Epic visual spectacle, wonderfully done.
Yeah, it was a great movie. Denying it top honors on Oscar night will be robbing both it and the previous two.
About Gandolf’s staff: I always wondered why he had to ride so stinking far across the plain before he could drive away the nazguls. How far away do you have to be before you are out of range of a staff like that.